Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
