What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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