My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
