Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
