ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
