I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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