I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
