I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
im on a boat
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