Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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