im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
