bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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