it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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