did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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