i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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