He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
