Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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