Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
