margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you would pick up someone in the library
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
