Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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