I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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