My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
