We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
