Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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