Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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