I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
