I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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