Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
