so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
