This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
