Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
