dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
