# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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