if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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