my soul wont recognize me after tonight
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
