nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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