I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
