They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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