i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
