Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
