My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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