No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
