Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
