he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
