Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you didnt know i had herpes?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
