I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize