He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
