You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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