I hate all girls vehemently.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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