you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
