i need an iv and a liver transplant
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
