Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
